Trippin.

So I've recently had an epiphany. It happened with my most recent relationship. I'm happy, everything is going well, when suddenly, I'm trippin. Not over anything imparticular. Just strait wiggin over shit that doesnt make sense and becoming extremely insecure. In this relationship I am extremely happy. We're with each other every moment that we're not at work. We havent slept away from each other since we started sleeping together. We have a great time with each other. So why do I have that insecure gut feeling he'll be leaving me soon?

Of course its because every man I've been with leaves me, or I leave them because they're a cheatin ass hoe. But I may also be sabotaging my relationships more recently because I'm so afraid they'll leave, I start picking at things. Start over analyzing. Start digging deep for the possiblity he's not as happy as I am and that he'll be running away soon. Of course if he knew any of this he'd already be running. My epiphany was the fact that my fear and insecurity is of course part of the reason my relationships are failing. I'm going into a relationship feeling like I'm not good enough for someone to tell me the truth. I'm not good enough for someone to be faithfull to me. I'm not good enough for someone to still be interested after a few months.

With him, I smile on the outside, keep my insecurities to myself. Hoping that eventually I'll realize that this man is doing everything he can, to show me how much he cares about me and just let this "be". I have got to be good enough to love.