toooouch doooown

I was going to do this whole post about ways for women to get out of the doghouse but the only suggestions anyone could come up with was head. So instead of wasting a whole post on how head is beneficial to your relationship I said bunk that I'll pass. So last night because I've pretty much been in the doghouse since the weekend I decided to take control of my situation and throw our relationship back to where it was. All happy and full of joy. Right back to where we had absolutely nothing to argue or complain about. That overly happy "beginning" feeling.

I set up tea-light candles all over the bedroom and found a soft R&B cd. I gave this man a full blown profeSHION-al massage. I mean I looked up technique and everything. I.put.it.down. That's how I does. Then I flipped him over for his happy ending. Then....everything was right in the world again.

Enough about my relationship.

Lets discuss my Florida apartment. If I wake up or come home to one more wild bug I'm going to move to Alaska where bugs cant survive. I cant handle this shit!! It isn't little easy to murder bugs either. I'm talking obese ass motherflucking bug ass bugs. One morning I wake up and sit on the toilet and a palmetto bug runs from behind my toilet paper roll into a hole in the caulking of my tub. Then I walk into the kitchen and as I'm putting a dish in the sink Charlotte, Wilber's Charlotte, is just a'dangling right in my face, then...THEN I walk into the bathroom, open the medicine cabinet to get a q-tip, and as I reach my hand in that bish, A TARANTULA looking spider is right by my hand. I screamed bloody murder and closed the bathroom door. My man came over from work and killed it for me and of course two days later another one of his homeboys was in my kitchen cubbard. When I tell you I almost destroyed my kitchen trying to kill this thing while screaming like a lunatic at the same time. Of course, the man came and killed that one too. Then we get to my apartment last night and a flying WATER BUG (aka roach) is on my ceiling. & That hoe was the size of a small bird.

I need to move.

Of course its because I live in Florida and all these bugs live here too but DAMN IT. I cant live like this.

Anyway.

Its been 2 weeks since I've had a cigarette. Yay me *eye roll*. I know its wonderful and I should be ecstatic but truthfully I practically had a gun to my head and it wasnt much of my decision. I wanted to smoke. I kinda miss it. I'm stressed blah blah excuses excuses I know. I dont smoke tree anymore either. *thumbs down*

The things good peen will make you do. So anywhat, I'm gonna drink this coffee and try not to have an attitude with any of my customers today. Y'all enjoy your Monday.