A lesson in friends.

Something that took me a few years of experience to figure out is: you are who you hang with. I believe it was also Tupac who said "Mama said never argue with fools, because from a distance no one knows who is who." Then there is that, "you lie with dogs you get fleas" statement. All of these are true, and it took me too long and too many life experiences to figure out. The problem is I have a big heart. I like to try and "fix" people when their broken, "love them" when they don't love themselves enough, or guide them in the right direction. Unfortunately, when you stick around a toxic friend long enough, it wont be YOU rubbing off on them it will be their drama and garbage rubbing off on YOU.

I've seen plenty of friends go through this as well. Watching them try to hang on to someone who's spiraling out of control. At this point in my life I will easily and without blinking drop kick a bitch to the curb. I LOVE my friends. However, I have a family and a life to protect. I cant allow someone's drama to pull me down, to affect the way my daily routine operates, or to negatively impact the life of my son.

For example I met a girl recently at my job who I thought I could get along with. She had a son and was a single mother like myself.

[side note] Just because a woman has a child, it does NOT make her a mother. [side note]

She was a few years younger than me but she seemed mature and she was a lot of fun to hang out with. We started spending a lot of time together and quickly seemed to be "besties" [hate that word]. But suddenly I started to see a different person in her. Someone that I would soon drop kick to the curb like I mentioned before.

She didnt have her son in day care and her schedual was about to change where she would need help with him so she could work. I decided to offer my off days to her so that I could help another struggling single mother get to work. While I thought she was working she was taking off early and doing whatever the hell she felt like and then coming to pick up her son. I mentioned to her to give me a heads up or at least ask because I was sacrificing my off time to HELP her go to work. She didn't. Things got worse. She stopped hanging out with me but kept dropping the baby off. She would pick him up HAMMERED. Stumbling drunk. I'd beg her to stay on my couch but she always refused. I felt horrible for letting her drive away with her child in the car but I couldnt allow myself to feel responsible for the actions of a grown woman. Shortly she stopped going to work as much, got behind on her rent, and told me she was picking up some hours at the STRIP CLUB. Now I only saw her when I was babysitting. Because I was now her babysitter and no longer a friend I charged her to babysit.

& When she couldnt pay me. I kicked her ass to the curb. Stopped calling, texting, caring. I just cant. I cant tell a grown woman that being a stripper isnt the best career choice. I cant tell her more than once that drunk driving with her child in the car is a horrible idea. I cant tell her that being a mother and going to the club every night of the week dont really mix. I cant try to save her, and I cant run with her. I cant let her poison my surroundings with her toxic behavior.

From what I hear she's now a full time stripper, dropping her son's medical bennefits, and she's now smoking SOMETHING out of a pipe, and she's lost her place to live. I dont feel bad at all, for her no longer being a part of my life. Because I'm not going down with her. She's not going to affect my life or the life of my son. I suggest everyone practice this form of self preservation.